Parenting can sometimes feel overwhelming, with so much pressure to “do it right.” But as a recent Reddit thread beautifully reminded me, it’s often the smallest, most ordinary moments that leave the deepest marks on our children’s hearts. The thread, started by u/ContributionNarrow88, asked parents to share their low-input ways to sprinkle love on their kids—simple gestures that say, “You matter,” even in the busiest days. Let’s explore some of the most touching ideas and the wisdom behind them, blending community stories with gentle expert insight.

Waving Until the Car Turns the Corner: Rituals of Connection

One parent shared how they always stand outside, waving and blowing kisses until their kids are out of sight. It’s a 10-second ritual, but it’s become a treasured moment of connection. Another commenter, now an adult, recalled their grandmother doing the same: “It’s such a little thing but so special.” These goodbye rituals—whether it’s a wave, a heart made with your hands, or a silly face—signal to kids that they are seen and cherished. Even teens, who might roll their eyes, often remember these acts fondly later in life. Research suggests that consistent routines and rituals help children feel secure and valued, especially during transitions.

Lunchbox Surprises and Secret Notes: The Magic of Small Delights

Packing an occasional “secret” treat or a loving note into a lunchbox is a classic gesture that many adults remember decades later. One Redditor described wrapping a forbidden sweet in foil with a “ssshhh” note—turning an ordinary lunch into a shared secret. Another recalled their parent wrapping every lunch item on their birthday, just to make the day extra special. These tiny surprises don’t require much time or money, but they communicate thoughtfulness and joy. They’re little reminders that someone is thinking about you, even when you’re apart.

Words That Build Identity: Compliments and Affirmations

Several parents mentioned the importance of speaking positively about their children, both to them and within earshot. Compliments like “You’re so patient with your puzzles,” or “You’re great at making friends,” help shape a child’s self-image. As OP wisely put it, “We are their authority on everything; these statements become their self-identity.” Many commenters echoed how powerful it is to hear parents talk about them with pride. Conversely, some shared the pain of never hearing such words from their own parents, and the resolve to do better with their own kids. As a gentle reminder: try to avoid negative labels (“you never listen!”) and instead focus on the qualities you want your child to see in themselves. This positive reinforcement can help build resilience and self-worth.

Physical Affection—With Consent

From couch snuggles to “never being the first to let go of a hug,” physical affection came up again and again. One parent shared, “Whenever my kids are having a hard time, I tell them they can transfer their feelings to me through a hug or breathing.” Another described family “sandwich” hugs, where everyone piles on top of each other in a giggling heap. A wise note from the thread: always respect your child’s boundaries. Some kids love tickles and hugs; others need more space. One parent’s rule: “If they aren’t up for it, that’s ok.” It’s a great opportunity to teach kids about consent and body autonomy—even with affection.

Eye Contact and Active Listening: “I See You”

Several parents made a conscious effort to make eye contact and really listen, even when their child is talking about something seemingly trivial. One wrote, “If he met my eyes, I’d lock in and get present with him. Even just for a short time.” Another squats down to their child’s level to listen, saying, “Seeing her face light up because she knows I’m listening is like a little hug for my mama heart.” Being truly present—even for a moment—helps kids feel seen and important. It’s not about having all the answers, but about showing up with your attention.

Celebrating Their People and Passions

OP also shared the habit of “hyping up” the people who matter to their kids, from grandparents to best friends. This models respect and appreciation for relationships, and lets kids know their social world is valued. Other parents mentioned supporting their child’s interests—even if they don’t share them—by listening, asking questions, and remembering details. This approach honors your child as an individual, not just an extension of yourself. As one commenter put it, “I listen to whatever they are ‘rambling’ about and really try to remember it. When I was able to bring up a character from his current obsession, he said, ‘Wow, you really are listening to me!’”

Modeling Emotional Honesty and Repair

A particularly wise parent pointed out that showing love isn’t about being perfect. “If I get frustrated or stressed out, I always explain in age-appropriate terms why I felt that way. If I overreact, I apologize.” This models emotional regulation and respect, teaching kids that it’s okay to make mistakes and repair relationships.

Inside Jokes, Rituals, and Shared Language

From secret handshakes to “I love you” squeeze codes, many families have their own unique rituals. One parent described pressing their child’s hand three times to silently say “I love you,” a gesture that became a private language between them. Another sings silly wake-up songs every morning, or ends each day with, “I love you more than [insert funny thing].” These inside jokes and rituals create a sense of belonging and shared history. They’re the glue that holds families together through both the mundane and the challenging.

Takeaways: Love Doesn’t Have to Be Grand to Be Lasting

The wisdom from this Reddit thread is clear: you don’t need elaborate plans or Pinterest-worthy crafts to show your kids love. The ordinary, repeated gestures—waving goodbye, listening with your whole attention, a squeeze of the hand, a warm towel after a bath—are what stick. Here are a few ideas you might try this week:

• Wave or make a heart with your hands every time your child leaves, and don’t turn away until they’re out of sight.
• Slip a note or a tiny treat into their lunch, just because.
• Compliment your child to others when they can overhear you.
• Let your child end hugs first; offer physical affection, but respect their boundaries.
• Make eye contact and really listen, even if it’s just for a minute.
• Celebrate the people and passions your child cares about.
• Model apologies and emotional honesty when you make mistakes.
• Create a silly ritual, handshake, or code word that’s just for your family.

The most important thing? Keep showing up, in small ways, again and again. As one parent wrote, “You never know what someone is feeling inside, and that extended hug may be just what they need.”

If You Didn’t Grow Up With This—You Can Start Now

Several commenters admitted they didn’t experience this kind of warmth as children, but are determined to give it to their own kids—or themselves. If that’s you, know that it’s never too late to start. As OP said, “You don’t need anyone’s permission to shower yourself in all the kindness and validation you should have had as a kid, you still deserve it now.” Whether you’re a parent, a caregiver, or just someone wanting to spread more love, these small gestures can ripple out in powerful ways. Here’s to making the ordinary moments extraordinary, one wave, hug, or silly song at a time.

Inspired by the r/Parenting community on Reddit. Thank you to all the parents who shared their stories and wisdom.