Many parents worry about not spending enough time with their teens, but even small, regular moments of connection—like family dinners, car rides, or shared hobbies—can make a big difference. Teens crave independence, but they also appreciate when parents make an effort to connect. It’s less about the quantity of time and more about the quality and intention behind it.

When Teens Retreat: A Parent’s Wake-Up Call

It’s a scene many parents know all too well: you walk past your teenager’s room, hear them chatting with friends, and realize you haven’t really talked in days. One Reddit parent (source) was struck by this when overhearing his son say, “I don’t really interact with my family. I just come home, go to my room and then wake up and go to school in the morning.”

For this dad, it was a jolt. He started tallying up the time they actually spent together—quick kitchen visits, car rides, gym trips—and realized it added up to surprisingly little. It’s a familiar feeling for many parents, especially as teens get busier and more independent.

Reddit Wisdom: How Other Parents Are Navigating Teen Time

The conversation on Reddit was full of empathy, creative ideas, and honest admissions. Here are some of the most relatable insights:

Family Dinners: The Classic Anchor

Many parents swear by the ritual of family dinners—even if it means eating late or rearranging schedules. u/WeinerKittens shared, “Family dinner every night is my #1 parenting priority. And no phones. That’s a guaranteed hour every day that we are all talking to and bonding with each other.”

Of course, it’s not always easy. With sports, work, and different schedules, some families only manage a few shared meals a week. But even that can help everyone reconnect.

No Screens in Bedrooms: A “Cheat Code” for Togetherness?

Several parents found that keeping screens and TVs out of bedrooms naturally brought teens into shared spaces. u/YourFriendInSpokane called it a “great cheat code,” saying their kids hang out in the living room because that’s where their phones are.

This isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution, but it’s a gentle reminder that small environment tweaks can create more opportunities for casual togetherness.

Shared Hobbies and Traditions

Other parents found connection through shared interests—watching shows, playing games, going to the gym, or even just running errands together. u/kellsbells8 described camping trips, baking, and carving pumpkins as ways to sneak in quality time, even if teens roll their eyes at first.

Sometimes, just being present—sitting together in the same room, even if everyone’s on their own device—can foster a sense of belonging. As one parent put it, “They can be ‘alone’ together.”

Letting Teens Lead (and Respecting Their Space)

It’s normal for teens to crave independence and spend more time with friends. Several Redditors pointed out that this is a healthy part of growing up. But they also emphasized the importance of being available when your teen does want to talk—often at random, inconvenient moments.

As u/blahbird (reflecting on their own teen years) said, “If your kid tries to interact with you, within reason, try to drop everything and give them that unconditional positive regard. It’s random, it’s fleeting, it’s inconvenient, but those little breadcrumbs mean so much.”

Why Teens Pull Away—And Why They Still Need Us

Adolescence is a time of stretching boundaries and figuring out who you are outside your family. As one commenter noted, “At 16-19, kids are really trying hard to formulate a sense of what adulthood, independence, maturity really truly feel like.”

It’s easy to take their distance personally, but most teens still want to feel connected and supported—even if they don’t always show it. A high school counselor in the thread shared, “I can’t tell you how many times teenagers… have cried to me telling me they wish they could do more things as a family. Plan something fun and special for the whole family. They like it more than they let on.”

Practical Takeaways: Making Time Count

• Prioritize regular connection—even if it’s just a few minutes in the car or a late dinner together.
• Find shared interests—shows, sports, errands, or hobbies can be great bonding opportunities.
• Consider screen rules—keeping devices out of bedrooms may help draw teens into shared spaces.
• Respect their need for independence—but stay available and open for when they want to talk.
• Don’t underestimate the small stuff—even sitting in the same room or sharing a snack can matter.

FAQ: Time With Teens

How much time should I spend with my teenager?

There’s no magic number. What matters most is regular, positive connection—whether that’s daily dinners, weekly activities, or just chatting in the car. Quality is more important than quantity.

My teen wants to be alone a lot. Should I worry?

It’s normal for teens to crave independence and alone time. As long as they know you’re available and you have some regular points of connection, it’s usually not a cause for concern.

What if our schedules are too busy for family dinners?

Many families struggle with this! Try for a few shared meals a week, or find other rituals—like weekend breakfasts, movie nights, or even just a quick snack together in the evening.

How can I encourage my teen to spend more time with the family?

Invite them to join you in activities they enjoy, ask for their input on what to do together, and be flexible. Sometimes, just being present and available is enough—they may come to you when they’re ready.

Is it okay to “force” family time?

Gently encouraging (or even requiring) some family activities is common and can be positive, as long as it’s balanced with respect for your teen’s autonomy. Keep it light and low-pressure when possible.

Closing Reflection: Connection Looks Different As They Grow

As our kids become teenagers, the ways we connect inevitably change. It’s bittersweet—watching them pull away, knowing it’s part of growing up, but missing the closeness of earlier years. The good news is that even small, consistent efforts to connect can make a big difference, and those moments—however brief—really do matter.

Whether it’s a late-night snack, a car ride, or a weekend fishing trip (like the original Reddit poster planned), these are the memories that stick. Our teens may not always say it, but they notice when we show up for them.

For more real-life parenting stories and advice, check out the full Reddit thread that inspired this post.